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I’m not really sure how to start this, or if I even want to send this. I never wanted to be one of those girls, that stays lingering around. I just feel like I need to let you know the truth, even if it doesn’t change anything. I want you to know how I really felt about you john because I know I am difficult. So here it is. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that someone like you came into my life, and at such perfect timing. Back when I met you I didn’t think that but looking back I now see how much I needed someone like you. You have taught me so much. One being to not give yourself to someone who doesn’t look at me the way you do. I think that’s what I miss most about you john. The way you looked at me. Since you no one has looked at me the way you did. I also miss sleeping with you. Not sex, just sleeping. One thing you don’t know about me is I never fell asleep with a guy before. Not until you. I remember waking up and the world just felt so right. You and me, we felt so right. Remember when you used to say that me and you have a connection like no other? That we shouldn’t let go of that, because it was hard to find. I wish I knew then what I know now because at the time I didn’t believe you. I always thought I could find another you when you were gone. God was I wrong. Anyways enough about that I should just get stright into what I have been wanting to say for quite some time now. I love you john. And I miss you. I feel like I loose you everyday, but not just once. I loose you when I wake up. I loose you when I walk outside and I don’t see your car. I loose you when on my way home from drinking and I can’t run to you. I loose you as I fall asleep. Although missing you hurts like crazy as does loving you. Nothing hurts more then knowing that I could have prevented this pain. We could have been together. And it wouldn’t of been easy and yes we’re in completely different parts of our lives but we loved each other. At the end of the day that is all that matters. I don’t want to wake up one day and wonder if we could have had a chance if by telling you how I really feel would bring us back together. I hate this I hate telling people how I feel because it leaves me vulnerable. But that’s the thing about you, you bring out all of me. My happiness my sadness and everything in between, and I think I do the same to you. If I truly believed that you are over me I wouldn’t send this message but I don’t believe it. I think you love me just as I do you and I hope that one day, sooner than later you will come back to me.
10.9 (via lovetaylermiller)
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